“Method To The Madness, Part 2” Goldfield Journal #20


I’m big picture I think.

I’m intimidated reading Tom Robbins. We can tell the story any way we want to. It’s just that his florid associations are out there and they work. That Tom Robbins. “I couldn’t do that”, I’m thinking as I read it. I relax and then I’m happy to keep up. My interest is not lost and unaccounted for when the second hint pops up, sentences later. It tells me that I was right in the image portrayed in my head. He pulls it off, often, Tom Robbins. That’s writing. That’s not a territory I feel familiar with, not enough, but I guess I can fuck around with it here. Details might have to go to hell. I’m big picture I think.

I haven’t been liking the way Aldus Huxley plops research and trade terms in his writing. “Brave New World”, I read half way through last week. This Tom Robbins book is “Skinny Legs And All” and he’s got me following along as the adventure rolls underway. He fleshes out the characters in a deeper way that Huxley would ever need to. They have totally different approaches and the focuses they pursue demand different vision translated in their respective words. Maybe I should have used the word ‘foci’.

I’ve been studying writers lately in my own way. I see how far they let themselves wander.

Today and yesterday, I’ve felt like hiding out. I’m doing pure creative stuff, reading and drawing, (and writing). I think today will play out the same as yesterday. I did a couple very clear drawings, pure drawing. No pictures to go by, no computer, just the eyes and pencils.

I stood out in the dust to draw this tall metal tower that was in a movie. It’s here now and the more I look at it, I see it was not a low budget movie prop. 20 feet tall or so; maybe less. There’s a metal ladder and no rails around the top platform. There’re a couple more pieces of it laying out in the surrounding area.

This shit is pretty detailed, including the bed of nails hooked with tubes and rods and details to make it an obviously sci fi piece of nostalgia. Mark said the nail bed thing they lowered onto a man hung on a pulley and went across a wire away from the tower. A man stood at the top with levers to operate the bodies. Did you ever see Soylent Green? I think it was like that. I don’t know the movie yet, but I’m going to find out. Stay tuned.

It was so cool discovering the nails. I turned the big apparatus over because I noticed it to be human-sized and like a detailed coffin, it shaped a body, allowing for head and shoulder and torso/leg space in proportion. I rolled it over using some muscle and, caplunshh.. in the dust and weeds, underside it was a bed of nails. I showed Mark. He said he didn’t even know about the nails.

I need to place this piece of cinematic propistry, properly. In other words, it’s a nice prop and I want to bring it some glory. What movie was it from?

At any rate, I drew the thing in pencil, clean and minimal. I ended up sitting on a car hood, itself, painted in loops of red and purple with black. I sprayed it a few years back, before I was living here. Mark had added some black paint and a pentagram and plastic frog, little army men, and a ceramic set of blue dolphins. I  drew, sitting atop this hood, till the sun went down. I drank a can of PBR.

After the prop tower drawing, I drew the mountains at the North end of Goldfield.

In the foreground was placed a modest tit shaped mountain that I see every day. A particular one, you know the breast. It’s the kind where the nipple’s areola actually comes out a bit to push the nipple just a bit further from these tiny flesh humps. It’s a nice breast, but among other things, I’m a breast man. A bit more classy in some ways, this tit. It allows the lady to wear a very very low cut dress in lieu of cleavage. Even a senator’s wife with breasts like that could pull it off at cocktail parties.

Anyway, this mining torn mountain is like that tit in shape. At the base of it is the major mining operation here for 100 years. The mountain doesn’t beat you over the head with sultry curves. It’s a simple and elegant strata, pointing, like a tinyMount Fuji. I drew it with a green sky and purple shadows, light on white paper. They were the only two colors I allowed myself for that little outing, sketching. I didn’t include obvious mining scars or radio tower atop.

I guess drawings tell their own story, I’m just not sure quite how. Maybe it’s only questions that they offer. Just like these erect objects, dictated in front of me, they only leave questions. Why’d he draw these? And why this way?

The more I think about it, space itself never tends to offer any solid answers. Storytelling has to, at least, hint at some answers, I would think. But space, how is a story told with space? I wanted to talk about painting a story, using space.


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“I Can Break Dance When the Spirit Moves Me” Goldfield Journal #18

I got pulled over today for not having my headlights turned on in the Trans Am. It was 2 in the afternoon. Wide open stretches inspire a kind of roadway delirium and the powers that be insist we make our car’s presence known out here to divert disaster. I have to go to court now. My license is good. Thank Buddha for that. They just want to know this car is registered and insured. I must present proof of that.

Michael Mark is convinced that the sheriff’s department is after him. It seems to be true. The Trans Am is his and it stands out.

Changing the subject, um, let’s see, oh, I dunno, the end of the world?

As of late, the government has started to assert itself, from what I’m gathering. The Feds are cracking down on California and its legalized marijuana. I’m not even the biggest fan of legalizing it, but it seems like a war of the body building variety.

You know how there’s weight lifting competition and then there’s body building? One is more aligned with aesthetics while weight lifting wins with numbers, statistics. What we’re seeing in California, with federal bureaucracy backing the State’s government into a corner, it’s the show of power that the federal government is seeing most valuable in this kind of skirmish. They want to use this as a show of force; they flex for their national audience.

Very recently, neo-hippies have taken over Wall Street, in demonstration, and there were similar kind of strong arm moves by policing forces against protestors. The hierarchy is trying to remind us that they are more powerful than we. A state is nothing, federal is everything. They’re drawing clear distinctions for anyone paying attention. Aldus Huxley saw it coming eighty years ago.

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t know me. This government does not know me. They are not on my side and they are not working at their best to help me. They can’t even see me. The government is too wasteful here  in the United States and it has lost its purpose of being.

Like backtracking during that other hypothetical line of talk “..but I’m not racist,” this is the point where I say, “…but I’m patriotic, I love America.” I do love America. I was prom king, but these people who historically were there to be looked at as ones who could save us, well, those days are long gone. We’re smarter than the sluggish sassy federal monster putting on this show with its fat lined pockets.

What are we doing to make change ourselves? What am I doing? How am I a role model? I’m not a parent. I don’t teach classes, much, anyway.. My point is this: I’m not in a position of authority or enlarging circles of knowledge. What I DO hope to pass along in a mindset of D-I-Y in what we do on this earth. We can do it ourselves. To make one’s way and look at all the indulgences of America that we let ourselves whore out to. It’s an old concept of non-capitalism or non-materialism I’m drooling about this particular minute, but it rings solid. Anything we assume to be ‘me’ is a practice. We practice consumerism or we don’t.

Never ding a dead horse, never ring the death bell. I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Anyway, what if the direction of our energy in this country were steered toward strengthening our own powers, our creative instincts-no more telling people we’re “not an artist.” What if our artistic ideation was funneled better and became seen as more valuable than a widescreen? I have ideas and that is why I’m important.

My point is all knowledge, all style, all trends rely on the artistic display of those ideas-FIRST! ..hot and bold, that first pushed new vibrations to fellow beings.

We are the boss here. I am the boss of me. I don’t even need complete sentences. This is my life and my direction that’s sustainable and holistic, pleasant, truthful, base, honest, simple, pure, selfless, beautifying, gentrifying, growthful, positively pushing, transcendent, joining, healing, replenishing, uplifting, enlightening, entertaining, free… these are just words but what the hell, why not live your ideals? I’ll take a vow of the bodhisattva.

Whatever I can do to push mankind, even very slightly, toward a more useful trajectory, I will do that. I want to add to this world that nourishes me. I am not a ‘consumer’. I do more than that. I have more uses in this world than that.

I can think for myself and I trust those who do not agree with me. That is, if they’re not trying to change my life. I trust those who want my money, that is, if they have no power over me. I trust those who live by a different purpose than I, that is, as long as no coercion comes from them.

Government has a stronger arm to push down with than I do. I can’t subscribe to this slavery. I don’t believe in this.

I can break dance when the spirit moves me.

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